(A tribute to the genius of Rod Hilton)
EXT. A fancy Manhattan restaurant
INT. SARAH JESSICA PARKER and CHRIS NOTH are sitting at a candlelit table.
CHRIS NOTH is wearing a ten-thousand dollar suit, because in New York, all businessmen wear expensive black suits. This is ACCURATE and not at all evidence that DARREN STAR is OUT OF TOUCH with his subject material. CHRIS NOTH’s character is played entirely ONE-DIMENSIONALLY, apparently this is THIRD-WAVE FEMINISM.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Thank you for taking me out, you businessman you!
CHRIS NOTH
Wait, I don’t even get a name?!?
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Oh, that’s right…um…you’re all into business and stuff, right?
CHRIS NOTH
I’m the Director of Procurement for the Greater New York Hospital Association….
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
You’re so cute with all your business and stuff. We’ll call you Mr. Big!
CHRIS NOTH
….
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Mr. Big! Mr. Big!
CHRIS NOTH:
You’ve got to be kidding me, right?
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Let’s have sex and then I’ll go buy lots of things that I don’t need!
AUDIENCE
Truly, the times are changing.
Thank you for taking me out, you businessman you!
CHRIS NOTH
Wait, I don’t even get a name?!?
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Oh, that’s right…um…you’re all into business and stuff, right?
CHRIS NOTH
I’m the Director of Procurement for the Greater New York Hospital Association….
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
You’re so cute with all your business and stuff. We’ll call you Mr. Big!
CHRIS NOTH
….
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Mr. Big! Mr. Big!
CHRIS NOTH:
You’ve got to be kidding me, right?
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Let’s have sex and then I’ll go buy lots of things that I don’t need!
AUDIENCE
Truly, the times are changing.
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