Today's Surprises

Unicorns are real, and it took no less than 30 minutes for somebody to discover that eating their shit will prolong your life.

The pieces to IKEA furniture are actually excreted by a sentient space lobster named “Flarfen” who is starting to wonder if he will ever get to meet the President of the United States of America.

Paul Gross’s first draft of Passchendaele was actually a 5-minute, $100,000 budget vignette where he lined up approximately 150 chimpanzees in a muddy field and proceeded to gun them down with a Vickers Machine Gun. The studios demanded a love-story be included.

Jerry O’Connell finally slid into a dimension where he could find work.

The Toyota Highlander is, regrettably, not immortal. It’s just a hybrid.

Indie alternate-punk band The Fizzlepigs do not, in fact, exist.